I just started reading Ijeoma Oluo’s ever so excellent book So You Want to Talk About Race. Her writing is laser-focused and this bit in particular where Ijeoma compares white supremacy to an abusive relationship jolted me awake:
When I was in an abusive relationship, it was not just about one incident […] before I knew what was happening, I’d be on the defensive, trying to defend my right to a relationship free of abuse. […] But whenever I tried to step back and look at the big picture, he’d pull me down to look at a tiny piece: “See this? It’s so small. Why would you get upset about this little thing?” I could not address abuse in my relationship because I was too busy defending my right to even call it abuse.
Often, being a person of color in white-dominated society is like being in an abusive relationship with the world. Every day is a new little hurt, a new little dehumanization. We walk around flinching, still in pain from the last hurt and dreading the next. But when we say “this is hurting us,” a spotlight is shown on the freshest hurt, the bruise just forming: “Look how small it is, and I’m sure there is a good reason for it. Why are you making such a big deal about it? Everyone gets hurt from time to time”—while the world ignores that the rest of our bodies are covered in scars.
Behold! My newsletter—sent infrequently—about new things that I’m working on. Every so often it’ll contain notes about web design and publishing things that I’m interested in, too.